How to Avoid Bad News Neighbors

By Scott Boone

Image courtesy of pinterest

Many of you who have been reading my blogs know, there are 101 reasons to move.  Today I will cover something you need to be aware of before you make your next move.  I call them Bad News Neighbors.  If you have moved more than once, you know what I am talking about.  These are the neighbors from hell who make living next to them like something out of a Stephen King novel.  While the exception rather than the rule in neighborhoods from coast to coast, what you want to avoid is living right next to these unpleasant folks.

The Neighborhood Nazi

If you have ever lived in a neighborhood with a homeowner’s association, you’re familiar with this cretin.  He or she can not only quote the HOA rules and regulations by heart, but they get a kind of glee from enforcing each and every one of them to the letter of the law.  This is the type of busybody who not only cites neighbors for letting their lawns grow ¼ inch too high, but they carry a ruler to perform this task.  What’s even worse is that many of these Nazis are retired.  This means they have nothing better to do than drive all their neighbors nuts with a constant litany of complaints.  The best way to find out if you have one of these close at hand is to walk down the street and knock on a couple of doors.  Don’t ask the owner of the house you are thinking of buying or renting.  If there is a neighborhood Nazi at large, they’re the last people who will admit it.

George of the Jungle

Image courtesy of Pxhere

The antithesis of the Neighborhood Nazi, this dude is not only a tree hugger, but he also doesn’t want to hurt his grass.  At least that’s my take since this neighbor stubbornly refuses to mow his lawn until it’s as high as an elephant’s eye.  Fortunately, you can quickly spot this particular irritant before you move in next door since his property is hard to miss.  Unless you like living next to the Wild Kingdom, give this neighbor a wide berth, since you never know what slithers in his yard.

The Hound from Hell

While you might be a dog person, that doesn’t mean that you want to hear your neighbor’s dog bark all night long.  Personally, I think that anybody who leaves their dogs outside all night long shouldn’t be allowed to own a dog.  Dogs are pack animals that are traumatized if they are sequestered from the pack.  This means if you stick a dog outside by itself all night long, it is guaranteed to bark out its frustration.  I don’t blame the dog for this.  I blame the owner.  If you want to avoid moving next door to the hound from hell, walk to the houses on either side and knock on the door.  If there’s a dog either inside or out, you’ll know about it in seconds flat.

Birds of a Feather

Here’s one irritant you might miss to your chagrin.  Believe it or not, some species of birds make even more noise than dogs.  I once had a macaw owner move in next door to me.  She thought nothing of letting her bird hang out in her screened in porch for hours on end.  For those of you who have never heard a macaw screech at the top of its lungs, you’re in for a shock.  It sounds like a woman shrieking for help.  The neighbor on the other side of her thought this was the case and called the cops.  Imagine the officer’s surprise when they responded only to find a huge bright green parrot yowling at them from the confines of the porch.  Again, the best way to find out about annoyances like these is to introduce yourself to your prospective neighbors before you make the move.

Image courtesy of wikimedia

Leader of the Pack

Do you ride motorcycles?  Whether you do or not is immaterial if you have a Harley owner living right next door.  The full-throated roar of a Harley Davidson starting up every morning at the crack of dawn means you won’t have to set your alarm clock ever again.  It also means you will just about lose your mind if you discover the leader of the pack living next door.

Party Hearty

There’s nothing like coming home after a hard day’s work to kick up your feet, pour yourself a glass of wine and have the glass slide off the table to shatter on the floor because your neighbor has cranked their stereo up to seismic proportions.  While partiers can come in any age, more often than not, you will find the majority of them are millennials who seem hellbent on making themselves and you deaf.  I once had to run next door to knock savagely on the door when my neighbor left his teenage sons alone while he went on a 2-week vacation and the kids decided to stage a party that would have made the cast of Animal House envious. 

Territorial Imperative

They say that a man’s home is his castle.  Unfortunately, some people take this saying literally.  This means they think nothing of digging a moat or manning the parapets.   If you are scoping out a neighborhood and see a home that has prominently placed signs that read “Beware of Dog” or “Trespassing Prohibited” you might want to think twice before moving in next door.  An 8-foot privacy fence topped with barbed wire is a sure sign you have spotted a territorial neighbor.  So are several surveillance cameras or numerous motion detector lights mounted out front.  Remember, an improperly placed motion detector light can keep you up at night every time a passing cat or insomniac wanders down your street.

Look and Learn

If you want to avoid being saddled with Bad News Neighbors, vigilance is the watchword.  Aside from grilling the neighbors, there are other resources that can help you spot and avoid many of these annoyances. 

·         Check out local websites and neighborhood social sites. 

·         Find a realtor or two that lives in your intended neighborhood and ask their opinion.

·         Seek out people looking to move out of the neighborhood to find out about local schools, crime, and noisy neighbors.

·         Stop by the closest convenience store to talk with the proprietor.

·         Read the local neighborhood newspaper.  Not only will you pick up some local knowledge, but you might also find a writer (usually someone living in the neighborhood) that you can email with your questions.

With over 5,000 moves, Scott's Discount Movers has handled moves of all sizes, including local and cross country. If you are looking to move your home or office, you can depend on Scott's Discount Movers to provide a stress-free relocation.